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Reviewer: alexwriter
Signed
Date: 07/11/09 - 09:04PM
Title: Chapter 2
You have some good ideas, though the story itself goes by far too quickly. There is too much action involved, not enough breaks from this. Also there are not enough internal monologues. Other than that, the plot is sounding very interesting. Pity you haven't updated it for a long time....
Author's Response: I thank you for your review, it is always nice to get feedback!
The point of the first two chapters was so they would go by fast, they are simply to get a readers attention I have encountered far to many stories where the first chapter go SO slow. "First this happened, this is the story behind that. Then they met this other person who..."
Throughout the entire story I plan on including more breaks though, I like to make sure my fanfics include all characters.
As for your comment on internal monologues, they are not required in any way. I personally, as a writer, do not like to write them. And while I see how they would work well in some places, I do not feel that I should write them. I may include some over the course of the story but, I may not.
I got extremely busy this year and have to juggle writing, my band, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my school work, writing songs and many other things. And somewhere in the middle of everything, fanfiction got lost. I still write it, but ideas for this and my other multi chapter story are not at an abundance. While I know where I want to take both fanfictions, I am having issues figuring out how to get there. There is also the issue of whether I should continue "A Fragile State" because the story line was resolved in Season 3. A part of me would love to write it with my own twist. Another part of me is ready to give up this fanfic.
Again I thank you for the review! Oh, and I apologize if this publishes without paragraphs, this site does not usually save the breaks made for them, so it all comes out as one big paragraph.
-Annie
Reviewer: jpoeling
Signed
Date: 02/09/09 - 04:15PM
Title: Chapter 2
Continue please
Author's Response: Hi! I'm deciding wether or not I should continue with this as season three has already started. I am not watching season three so I could continue this without using that plot, but I'm not sure.
Right now I am planning on continuing as I hate it when you get hooked on a story and then it's never updated.
Reviewer: Venezsurfer
Anonymous
Date: 08/17/08 - 01:21AM
Title: Chapter 2
OMG! Please writemore, this is soooooooo good. I love seeing kyle angry for what happened to Amanda! update soon
Author's Response: I'm working on it!
Thank you!
I think he would be. I'm glad you like it!
I will!
Thank you!
Reviewer: laughingoutloud
Anonymous
Date: 08/16/08 - 12:20PM
Title: Chapter 2
Gosh Darn!!! When are you going to write more? I hope you do soon, cause that'd be awesome. Oh, and I really like where everythings going, I'm not really a writer or anything, but I think this story is really well written.
You'll never believe it, but this chapter was actually written on my birthday! So, I guess it was kind of like a birthday present, so thanks! And my moms is tomorrow.... you should try and write one then to!
And don't give up on this story, you've got to much going for it to just let it go!
Write some more soon!
Author's Response: I am working on chapter three. I recently put up another two fanfics though. So I have been working on them.
WOAH! Thats awesome! No problem! Maybe...
I'm not giving up on it. It just takes me a while to update... I will update soon!
Thank you very much!
Reviewer: H2P2
Signed
Date: 07/20/08 - 11:52PM
Title: Chapter 2
MORE!!!!
Author's Response: I'm working on it!
Author's Response: I hope to have chapter three up soon!
Reviewer: Tito (KyleXYnum1fan)
Anonymous
Date: 07/18/08 - 12:52AM
Title: Chapter 2
OMG Juno!!! God! Don't let them hurt her!!!! DON'T!!! And the part with "Amanda Trager" Man that would rock! Okay anyway. But we all know he will find a wasy to save both girls. GREAT JOB!! Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: You seriously think I would let them hurt her?! SKIPPY (Okay, new name, gotcha!) TITO! Do you NOT know me?!
I know!!!!!!!!!!! That part was something I just HAD to include!
Well, I have my problems with Jessi... JK! Maybe he will... Maybe not... Or he probably will... I think!
Thank you!
GO KYLANDA!!!!!!
Reviewer: AndraDee
Signed
Date: 04/13/08 - 05:49AM
Title: Chapter 1
Ah, the site's back up! (Tried reviewing earlier, but the site was down)...This is much improved - a much more enjoyable and informative read. Keep on expanding and experimenting with your descriptive language and you'll be amazed at the difference! xx
Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!!!!!!! I will!!!!!!!!
Reviewer: kylexy333
Anonymous
Date: 04/12/08 - 11:23PM
Title: Chapter 1
hey nice job, keep it up! this is interesting, do you know when you will post next?
Author's Response: Thank you! No I don't know when I'm going to post next. I'll try to have it up by Wednesday t the latest but, I'll work on it and update soon!
Reviewer: TURTLE DOVE
Signed
Date: 04/12/08 - 03:32PM
Title: Chapter 1
write more a.s.a.p.
Author's Response: I'll try, I'm going to rewrite part of the first chapter though.
Reviewer: AndraDee
Signed
Date: 04/12/08 - 04:49AM
Title: Chapter 1
Nice to see your confidence to upload stories is growing! And just for the record, I really didn't do anything other than to welcome you to fanfic-land, to encourage you to do your own thing and to enjoy writing for yourself and not just for reviews! But thanks for the dedication...that's really sweet! My honest feeling about this chapter is that it is SO FAR much like many of the others that have grabbed hold of the Amanda kidnap theme...HOWEVER I have a sneaking suspicion that your main motivation is to focus on how this event affects the relationship between Kyle and Amanda, and not so much on Kyle's desire to bring Latnok down. I'm interested to see how you do that. xx
Author's Response: Okay for the record you have done a lot for me. And your right about the fact that the story focuses on Kyle and Amanda rather the Latnok. In fact I don't really CARE about Latnok but, I needed a good antagonist and Latnok was there.
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